The leaves of the Beech unravel before a darkening nimbus cloud, while I scratch at marble with my meagre pen, read blind, for meaning, like an ill-lit fumble for light switch.
thats great, fourth line in particular a very satisfying use of commas. but is "read" meant to be pronounced to rhyme with 'red' or 'reed'? ill-lit is a nice use of hyphen. they always remind me of cummings.
Glad you like it, I like it far more than the other two I have up here. Reed, as in, I was reading with a kind of blindness if that makes sense. I suppose there shouldn't really be a comma there after "read blind", it should all be one sentence.
thats great, fourth line in particular a very satisfying use of commas. but is "read" meant to be pronounced to rhyme with 'red' or 'reed'? ill-lit is a nice use of hyphen. they always remind me of cummings.
ReplyDeleteGlad you like it, I like it far more than the other two I have up here.
ReplyDeleteReed, as in, I was reading with a kind of blindness if that makes sense. I suppose there shouldn't really be a comma there after "read blind", it should all be one sentence.